And then.... There was something called Multiple Sclerosis.....

Hi there, my name is Jamie and it's my first time ever writing on public space. A bit apprehensive, as I doubt that anybody would have any interest in what I have to say! But, I am kind of in a bad place right now, and this should serve as an outlet for me......

Right, a bit of history about me and then it should soon become clear why I am so sad.... I was diagnosed with relapse-remitting multiple sclerosis four and a half years ago at the age of 25. It was a shock and a blessing at first as the doctor thought I either had Motor Neuron's disease or MS, so having MS would surely be a lot better than having MND....!

But then reality soon hit after the diagnosis of MS was confirmed, I was in hospital for ten days, pumped full of steroids and bloated like a balloon. The steroids made me a lot better, and I was able to walk again and the prospects of having MS didn't seem so bad.

Life pretty soon returned to semi-normal, I was off work for four months but still did stuff on the computer for work at home. Having so much time in my hands at home alone didn't turn out to be the best thing, as your mind starts to go crazy and you ponder on the why and how...

People say facing a life changing trauma is like going through the five stages of grief: Denial and isolation; Anger; Bargaining; Depression; Acceptance. And did I go through them! I think I am still going through these five stages all at once., and I don't know when I will truly reach the acceptance stage. I have definitely come to some kind of acceptance, as it took me 2 years to be able to say the words 'multiple sclerosis', and now I can tell people that I have MS without wanting the world to open up and swallow me whole.

So, four and a half years on, 7 relapses, endless drugs and hospital appountments, I am still here. Allbeit with a lot more struggles in life, but I am still here.

If you are still not bored after reading this, you might want to check my blog out once in a while, as I have lots more to say!! :)

Oh, and P.S. I am a girl, just have a boy's name!