Long time no see!

Hi there, apologies for the silence. It's been a while since I last wrote anything! No excuses, just been a bit crap.

But have I got lots to tell you!

A lot has happened in two years. I am still standing, and have been MS relapse free for the last three and a half years. The drug natalizumab (Tysabri) that I was put on in Nov 2007 has been working wonders. Not one relapse since, I have to say I have nearly forgotten what it fells like to have a relapse, although I am still living with the disabilities of my previous relapses. Definitely not bad going though considering I was relapsing badly every six months. So no complaints there. I have to walk with a crutch all the time now, balance is still my main problem and I still fall often. Bruises, scrapes and cuts come with the territory, but no broken teeth or stitches like before now. I still get tired easily, I can only really do one main thing in a day before I become non-functional.

Life is so quiet now, sometimes I don't quite know what to do with myself. Bar hospital appointments, I go to the gym now and have lost 10kg in two years and gone down two dress sizes. Great news, I feel better for it but now I just can't afford to buy new clothes and am forever regretting chucking out all my old clothes! Man, did I have some gorgeous tops, handbags and shoes. Well, there's nothing I can do about the shoes, as high heels are still a definite no no. I still have a few kilos more to go before I am back to the weight I was before I got ill.

OK, time to rest now. I promise I will write soon!

And the drugs don't work...

The number of pills I have to swallow every day just keeps rising. Fifteen of them in the morning at the last count. White, pink, blue, round and rectangular ones. Just as well I don't have a problem swallowing pills; one of my friends would rather have her eye gorged out than swallowing pills, probably why she was never good at hangovers.....

I was prescribed a new anti-spasticity drug last week after seeing my neurologist. I started taking it on Monday. I think it's doing the trick as I can bend my knee a bit easier now, but only time will tell. But I tell you the side effects are not something that you'd want. Dry mouth, to the extent that I can't talk (which might actually be a good thing!) and sedation. I passed out all afternoon for the first two days.

My neurologist wanted to prescribe me some other anti-spasticity drug but I refused as it makes you put on weight. You might think me vain. I probably am. I have put on two stone since I became ill. It pains me to look at younger photos of myself. I was thin. Well, not thin thin, but healthy. I used to go to the gym four times a week and I felt good about myself. Now I can barely pick my feet up on a bad day. I missed running on the treadmill and breaking a sweat. Now I break a sweat just by walking out of my front door! The drugs that I take make my body temperature bonkers, I call myself menopausal. I have not worn my winter coat for two years. I miss wearing my nice thick coats and jumpers....

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